like changing diapers, first steps, playing catch. turk was gonna even teach me to throw like a guy, so... unless it was a girl, and then you could just throw like yourself. [chuckles] can i ask you something? hmm? were we just staying together 'cause we were having a kid? no! no, come on. come back from this in a couple of months, we're gonna pick up right where we left off. i mean, i guess it'll be a little more casual. we probably shouldn't talk, though, unless we're wearing full body condoms. what if i wasn't coming back because they offered me a permanent position here? did they? yeah. [music playing] j.d.: we sat there all night and talked about everything. how we felt about each other, whether could handle a long-distance relationship. did she ever see herself come back to sacred heart?

would a pizza place deliver to a bench at 3:00 in the morning? they would. and, at the end of it all, we both realized that without a baby in the picture, the best thing to do was to say good-bye, stay friends and just hope that our paths cross again... someday. [music playing] so then i took a $900 cab ride home and, viola. here i am. oh, j.d., that sucks. i'm so sorry. bummer. now why am i back in here again? 'cause i couldn't wait to rub a little jelly on your treasure trail. no, i have to see if your kidney stone has dissolved yet. "j"..."d". [laughs] i always do that. do what? j.d.: there are really only 2 kinds of surprises-- the good ones that make everything ok... it's a girl. we're having a baby girl.

and the bad ones that make you mad. ah, it's papa's pleasure palace. looks great, teddy. i'm going on vacation. theodore! all right. let's take a look. j.d.: and i could never be mad at kim for giving me a bad surprise. everything looks healthy. see? there's your baby's heartbeat. wow. j.d.: because at least she was straight with me. >> july 27, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart."

captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. we have put together a program for you tonight that i think will delight and entertain. my guest rachel weisz here to talk about her new film. [cheering and applause] her new film is called "the whistleblower." it's about a young girl who finds a whistle. [laughter] i don't want to give away the rest. [laughter] she blows the whistle. she ultimately blows the whistle. but let's begin tonight in norway. obviously what norway's going through right now is just awful. people are upset, angry, outraged, although some people's upset, anger and outrage, at least in this country, extends into areas that may surprise

you. >> why is the liberal press playing up the christian angle in the norway shooting case? >> the mainstream media was quick to portray the suspect as a christian extremist. >> they lay down this narrative every time there's a psychoout there. he's a fundamentalist christian that. is not the case absolutely at all. >> they quickly labeled him christian when there's nothing religious acted his approach. >> the idea in any way he represents any mainstream or even fringe sentiment in the christian community is ridiculous. >> jon: yes. [laughter] the massacre in norway is a tragic story about the persecution of christians. [laughter] look, i'm going to go out on a limb here. laura ingram, mmm, is right. the idea that this killer represents mainstream sentiment in the christian community is

ridiculous. that being said, people drawing the connection between a philosophical underpinning of his madness to a christian crusader mentality are not doing it to get at you. the connection stems mostly from two things: the shooter's 1,500-page, crucifix drenched call to reclaim western christian come from the infidels, and two, the shooters's knights templar 2083 power point paying tribute to charles the emperor to vlad the impaler. now, obviously i would have more sympathy for the... [laughter] obviously i would have more sympathy for the fox rapid response team's nuanced concerns if their plea to distinguish violence proclaim in the name of

a religion from the practitioners and tenets of said religion were applied to, uh, let's say more than just one lidge -- religion. bill o'reilly is very clear as to why this norway killer is christian. >> breivik is not a christian. that's impossible. no one believing in jesus commits mass murder. there is no evidence this man was a member of a church. no evidence that he had anything to do with the christian faith. we can find no evidence, none, that this killer practiced christianity in any way. they call him a christian because he says he is? come on. [laughter] >> jon: come on! and let me say this in defense of mr. o'reilly, isn't it enough for one man to have the burden of determining who amongst us is either a pinhead or a patriot?

but to ask him to also separate christian from heathen, it's too much of a burden. [laughter] he's but one very tall man, or as i'm convinced, a short man on another man's shoulders wearing an oversized suit. my point is this: clearly... [applause] [laughter] clearly o'reilly did not believe this killer's actions or profile qualify him as christian, which i would agree with, but his barrier to entry is somewhat less strict when it comes to linking the fort hood maniac and islam. >> i'm saying that he was a muslim terrorist because he carried a business card that said "soldier of allah." and he committed his crimes in the name of allah. >> jon: see the difference? [laughter]

that guy printed up soldier of allah business cards. the other guy only printed up an army of christ manifesto. i guess the only connection is both psychos for some reason spent the day at kinkos. you know, i actually feel sorry for the pundits and anchors who have added this story to their file of grievances that are perpetrated against them. not because i think they are actually victims of persecution, but because i know that the sense of grievance and victimization that appears to pervade their every waking moment is actually something they hate... in others. >> liberals do make themselves out to be victims. >> victimization, saying you guys on the left come up wth. >> liberals want the play victim. >> they play the victimhood card all the time. >> jon: all the time!

[laughter] victims play the victim card. liberals play it even when they're playing yacht easy, which -- yacht easy, which doesn't use cards. it's annoying. i guess the reason conservatives hate it when liberals play the victim card is that it distracts from the real victims, conservatives. >> where are we right now with this onslaught of personal attacks on conservatism? >> we take a closer look at all of those who have been victimized by the venom of the mainstream media's liberal bias. >> it is the last acceptable form of misogany in this country, hatred and prejudice towards conservative females. >> the last bastion of racism is against any blacks or hispanics who vow to be conservative. -last acceptable prejudice is anti-catholicism. >> christianity or christians are actually the last acceptable people who can be discriminated against. >> conservatives are alen on college campuses and they're out

in the woods. >> christians feel alone at christmas right now in this society that we live in because we're supposed to be tolerant of every religion, oh, except christianity. [laughter] >> jon: gretchen, if you ever feel alone at christmastime, head over to a chinese restaurant. they're jammed. [cheering and applause] i just... it's kind of a funny thing. see, what happens at christmas is there's not a whole lot that's open, so jews ultimately, just don't ask bernie goldberg. they'll tell you what i was talking about. i'm sorry. i had no idea. i had no idea... no, it's true.

stay with me. i had no idea that life for conservatives was so difficult in this country. tell me a little bit if you would about the bad people holding your kind back. >> liberals do not believe in free speech. >> liberals don't care about blacks. they don't care about women. they don't care about gays. >> liberals are godless people. they don't believe in god. >> liberals love dictators. >> she has five kids. liberals don't have five kids. >> on the far left, those cooks, they're insane. the left is uniting with islamists. >> the secular socialist left. >> far left-wing reptiles. >> progressivism is a cancer. >> the radical liberal left far left hate machine. >> the blame-america first crowd. >> so vicious, so mean, so cruel, and i don't hear this coming from conservatives about liberals. [laughter] [cheering and applause]

>> jon: you don't? [whispering] you should watch the show tonight. we made a big montage. that, my friends, that's my favorite, that one right there. so vicious, so mean, so cruel, and i don't hear it coming from conservatives about liberals. that is, if i may say, some of the most free-range, organically grown, disingenuous idealogically marinated unself-awareness i've ever seen in the wild. but you know what, it's woken me up. ed to reality of what some people face in this country, just for their political beliefs. you know, if you want to learn more about the hateful hyperbolic name-calling and malice mongering that people on the right face every day in this country, visit your local library and check out some of

these informative titles. while you listen to the list,i'm just going to enjoy a little snack. [laughter] >> joining us now from washington, syndicated columnist michelle malkin, the author of the book "unhinged crn exposing liberals gone wild." >> fox news contributor jonah goldberg is here. >> "arguing with idiots." >> ann colter is the church of "godless: the church of liberalism." >> how islam and the left sabotage america. >> how the left swift boated america, the liberal media conspiracy to make you think george w. bush was the worst president in history. >> your teacher said what? defending our kids from the liberal assault on capitalism. >> "new york post" columnist's new book "the hollywood hack, limousine liberals and pandzering politicians who are destroying america." >> jon: not done. >> "holy alliance: radical slosm and the america left." >> "left turn: how liberal media

bias destroys the american mind." >> "guilty: liberal victims and their saul on america." >> "demonic: how the liberal mob is endangering america." >> "losing our lidge: liberal media's attack on christianity. " >> "one-party classroom: how radical professors indoctrinate students and undermine our democracy." boy, the titles of books are just getting so long now. [laughter] >> jon: i know those books sound bad, but consider this: without books like those, what would we get our grandparents for their birthdays? [laughter] we'll be right back. [cheering and applause]

>> jon: welcome back. now, i'm going to assume by now you're all familiar with twitter, the social networking site that's become an increasingly popular outlet for news about justin bieber. did you also know it's a great feedback delivery system. >> we've been asking you your favorite fast food guilty pleasure. >> lady big mac on twitter. five guys burgers and fries. >> jon: what? five guys is lady big mac? isn't that like the quaker oats doing an ad campaign for farina? fine. they got 24 hours to fill. they're just having fun.

at least the level of twitter questions is at the preferred choice in chopped meat sandwich chain level. >> we want to know if a politician's private transgressions matter to their public life. >> lady big mac says, "character matters." >> the decision by the president not to go public with the bin laden death photo, what do you think? >> lady big mac wrote us on twitter, "the president is right. we do not need to see pics of obl." >> jon: again with lady big mac. those are not burger-based issues. it's tough to care about her opinion when all i'm thinking about what are the ingredients in a lady big mac. two all-beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, picked onions on a sesame seed vagina. truth is there are 45 million people on twitter, and i'm only isolating one network getting feedback from lady big mac. i'm sure there's more people out there. >> do you think casey anthony will be convicted? here's what you had to say thus

far. shoelace says, casey anthony should be convicted. >> mr. swiss cheese tweets, gingrich's big problem will be the women's vote. >> karen, take it away. >> i love crispy bacon. stay at home mom. the blinging it 187 says rim on twitser. >> we have murdgatroyd writing. >> diamond dave 56 on twitter. >> mr. germany writes. >> horse fly 1013 says. >> be strong tweeted "dog fart." >> jon: you know, that reminds me, dog fart's words today are as meaningful as they were then. is this so wrong? we want pundits vetted. i want to get my news from news people, not random people with an a.o.l. account. this way the facts can be vetted and processed with proper journalistic integrity and authority. >> grover nor worcester was newt gingrich's butt buddy.

[laughter] >> jon: [bleeped] it. i hope lady big mac and dog fart get their own show. we'll be right back. vo: this year, go back to school with geek squad. so you can do things like... ... carry fewer books... ... become master of the study group... take notes... while conserving energy...

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>> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, academy award-winning actress. her new film is called "the

whistleblower." >> i'm looking for a girl. the police dropped her here a few hours ago. can you check? she's 15 years old, no passport. >> okay. okay. that's easy. i know what you look for. those girls do not go through. they go for death to serbia. >> geez. [laughter] >> please welcome back to the program rachel weisz. how are you? >> jon: nice to see you. >> nice to see you. [cheering and applause] >> jon: first of all, great to see you again. >> nice to see you. second of all, boy, this is a heavy piece. is this... the u.n. soldier, is this a true story? >> it's inspired by a true story of a real woman.

>> jon: and she was attempting to... there was i guess sex trafficking of underage women by u.n. soldiers, peacekeepers? >> she was peacekeeper and went to bosnia and she slowly uncovered this huge scandal. i mean, there was corruption at the corporate level by the private contracting company that hired her, by the u.n., by the state department, by the u.s. government. i mean, there were layer points. it was an old-fashioned thriller. it's someone trying to unravel a web of deceit and lies. >> jon: i am going to lose faith in our institutions if this type of thing... >> no, jon, you? surely not. [laughter] >> jon: surely the u.n. mismanaged military contractors in a war-torn nation. i'm really somewhat upset. now, were you able to film... >> in bosnia, no.

we filmed in romania. so bucharest doubled for late '90s bosnia. >> jon: i have been to bucharest in the early '90s or late '80s i spent an hour layover. [laughter] >> in the airport, yeah. >> jon: beautiful lavatories. the detail on the tile. say what you will about stalin, the man knew that when it's time to go... >> it's got to look good around you. >> jon: thank you. >> i'm with you. >> jon: you want some peace. how long were you in bucharest? have you spent time there previously? >> i had never been there before. we were there six weeks. it was a low-budget movie. >> jon: when you're shooting a movie such as this and it's very politically charged, is there interference? do the people who were involved in this type of case, are they aware of what you're doing? are they trying to stop what you're doing? is there any... or everybody is just out there? >> no one bothers in romania.

we change the names of a lot of the individuals involved. we change the name of the private contracting company. i think the real name, the insurance probably would have been more expensive than the budget of the film. so it's kind of inspired by a true story. a lot of the names changed and the events kind of incorporated into different moments. >> jon: so you're basically in bucharest driving u.n. trucks filming the sequel. nothing going on here to be seen or see or any of those types of things. what are you doing? someone was telling me there's a wizard of oz prequel. >> yes, yes, i'm filming it right now in detroit. >> jon: what? [laughter and applause] that's awesome. >> yes, detroit. >> jon: about time somebody followed the yellow brick road. i knew the yellow brick road led somewhere near detroit.

i just wasn't sure. that's nice, though, because that's a city... as mump as los angeles needs the film business, i would like to see detroit get other industries like the film business. that's a great thing for them. is that going on right now? >> yeah, sam rami who is directing it is from detroit. he's gone back the his home city. >> jon: that's great. what film have you told detroiters you're filming to avoid insurance issues? have you had a chance to catch a game yet, a tigers' game? >> i have no idea what you're talking about. [applause] >> do you think i'm joking? i'm not. >> jon: the tigers are team of cricketers. it's an american pastime, but baseball... >> i'm a citizen. >> jon: is that true? >> yep. >> jon: and you didn't have to answer any baseball questions?

>> no. jon jon what do they want foreigners to know when they become a citizen? >> a lot of multiple choice questions, but nothing absports. not one sport question. >> jon: what did they ask about? >> history, politics. >> jon: please. we don't know anything about that. why should you have to? well, it's always very nice to see you. and you'll come back for the wizard of oz prequel because i'm excited about that. is it for kids, too? >> yes, yes. >> jon: "the whistleblower" opens in new york and l.a. august 5th. expands to other cities throughout august.